So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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