the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
