Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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