how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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