My nipple is on Facebook.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
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He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
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I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.