so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
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you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
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I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.