Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
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I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
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No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in