i may or may not be watching the land before time
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Terrible idea I love it
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
