As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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