thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
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We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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