I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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