i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
