Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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