i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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