If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
