we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Your cock deserves a montage
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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