Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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