THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize