I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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