You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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