One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
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She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
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It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
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