it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize