I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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