for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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