He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
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Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
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You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I could fuck to npr.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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