Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
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Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
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Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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