She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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