Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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