I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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