My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize