She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
