Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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