Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People

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(630): View more from Illinois

Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(507): View more from Minnesota

...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.

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(248): View more from Michigan

after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup

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(224): View more from Illinois

I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure

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(636): View more from Missouri

Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!

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(910): View more from North Carolina

One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."

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