Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
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If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
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There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees