hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
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