mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka