You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
