just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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