Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
