her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize