ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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