The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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