i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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