i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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