What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
