Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
