I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize