I'm really into asian looking animals
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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