I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
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