doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize
