I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
