Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
