I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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