Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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