I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka?
Forever.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize