Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
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Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
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I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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