Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
