check it out our google latitudes are spooning
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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