just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
